I was faced with a difficult decision tonight, today was my second class, and it went pretty smoothly considering it was related to my passion: Photography. (Which I still don’t believe I’m good at even though people tell me otherwise)

Tonight when I got home I realized that one of the eBooks I had purchased for my C.I.S. class actually did not come included with an access code for online work that is related to my course. Naturally, I started freaking out thinking FUCK, there goes $60 down the drain. Luckily provides full refunds of rented eBooks 7 days from the purchase date, but I had a hell of a hard time trying to return that damned book, for one, amazon says its refundable, yet when I go to manage my digital orders, there is no sign of a “refund/return.” So being the little researcher I am, I googled, searched their forum’s and sure enough, other people had the same problems, so I went through a hell of a lot to just return the damn thing, by chatting online with a representative. Anyways she was very helpful, but Amazon, come on, its almost like you want us to get stuck with eBooks and make a profit off of unsuspecting computer illiterate victims.

So after that and having come to the realization that “Access Codes” as referred to by these institutions we pay money to, so that they can teach us how to do things we can easily learn on YouTube or on any other part of the internet FOR FREE, JUST SO WE CAN GET A PIECE OF PAPER OR CERTIFICATE THAT QUALIFIES US TO BE SOMEBODY WITHIN SOCIETY, are only accessible from new unused books with unused access codes….

…thaaaaats when the stress started really kicking me in the nads. I’d be spending nearly $500 in total on all three classes, just for books, FOR BOOKS. That’s not including transportation costs, an extra materials the class might require surprisingly. It was all just starting to really get to me for a quick 10 minutes that seemed like an eternity. The anxiety started building up. Thankfully I have two very important women in my life who know how to talk to me and put my mind at ease, sometimes. This writing also helps, so I was really having doubts, maybe I should hold off for a semester, maybe its not the best time, but dammit, it hasn’t been the best time since 2014 when i graduated high school and dropped out my second year of college, so when the hell is it ever going to be a good time. I’ve always been so good at giving excuses to people, giving them a view at my completely absurd reasoning behind my dropouts from college. I now only came to the conclusion that maybe, just maybe those excuses weren’t really for anybody,

but myself…

Funny thing is, even though my mind was having its brief moment of doubt, the passion in my heart had already bought my parking permit for the semester about an hour before…

So there’s no way I’m getting in the way of what the heart wants. Only a fool would go against his gut feeling and ambition to further progress himself with knowledge and prestige in life.